Updated: May 6
There is something that I’d like to express right now.
It pertains to my image of God the Father.
There are people that say that this image of a kindly and gentle Father that I wish for is a false image of God.
They would point to the images of strength and warrior prowess portrayed in the scripture in places I believe to counter my “delusion”.
I cannot argue with them.
There are plenty of images of God’s might in scripture.
I don’t know exactly how to explain my beliefs other than to point to Christ himself.
Christ is the whole point of the bible. He explains everything.
He is meek and gentle of heart to the point that he allowed himself to be humiliated and crucified to win his battle with evil.
Look at a crucifix.
That is how my God fought and won his battle with evil.
Am I merely a coward and a fool?
Left to my own devices I might indeed be so.
I hope not.
I gave myself to Christ and His Way a long time ago though.
I went “all in” to use the gambling term.
I shouldn’t have gambled so recklessly with my life but that is where I am.
I had nothing to lose at the time.
I had been fighting depression since way before I became a Catholic and it had nearly killed me a number of times.
I really did have nothing to lose.
That is how out on a limb I was.
Why do I believe in Christ?
One, because I have needed a savior for a very long time.
Two, because he continues to hem me in and confound me when I find myself straying too far.
Three, because I love Him and His message.
What is that message?
You are forgiven, come follow me and help me deliver that message to your brothers and sisters in this world.
Why a cross?
I don’t know.
It is a cross road I suppose consisting of what I want and what God wants.
Perhaps it is where God truly knows and understands me, and where I can start to understand God’s love for humanity.
Quite honestly, it is the only answer that makes sense to me anymore.
Regarding life that is.
I am quite happy that Christ is my savior.
I am quite happy that I am not Christ.
Only He could have done what allows us to be his followers.
He is God.
I am a human being.
Humility is a hard lesson to learn for one as infected with the sin of pride that I was as a young man.
I am being very clear though, it was God’s love for me and mankind that saved me.
If you are at the bottom of a pit right now, then I am praying for you to know this great love that God has for you.
Yes, I have reached some measure of peace and personal satisfaction in this life but I know where I have been and I know God showed me a way out of my poverty and humiliation.
God has been there.
He knows poverty and humiliation from the inside out because he became one of us in every way and took our burdens as his own.
For whomever you may be thinking of right now.
I have gone on enough here.
I am a very imperfect writer but I do it out of love, and hope that it brings someone out there as much joy and grace that they might enjoy even for a moment, that I do in writing it.